4. What’s in a name?

Firstly, apologies for the tardiness in posting – due to annoying cervical issues, Susan is currently in hospital, but I shall get onto that at a later date.

Baby names.

This is a subject that has been hounding us ever since we decided to jump on the baby making horse. If love is a battlefield, choosing a name for the soon to be upon us children, is a frickin’ nuclear war.

A name, a name, what’s in a name? A lot.

I have always had a strange fascination with baby names and why they were chosen. Each day I scour the newspaper to check out the births section, looking for my ultimate baby name. One day I found it. “Peek-a-boo Coco”, yes complete with dashes, it made my day, week and month.

“Peek-a-boo Coco, stop picking your nose and wash your hands.”

Oh dear.

I love hearing stories from teacher friends on the variety of names they have pass through their classroom. J-A, pronounced jadashah, yes you read right. Or ABCD – pronounced absedee. Gives me the giggle every time.

Let’s look at this article, I could just imagine naming the twins Icy and Kouture (the K makes it very klassy). Thanks to this article, I might name the offspring Shiraz and Nevaeh (that’s heaven backwards, just so you know).

Where do you even begin finding the perfect name for your child to live with for the rest of its life?

I would love to say that I was one of those people who had their baby name chosen since childhood. No such luck, in fact I’m glad I don’t – I don’t think He-man and Pippi Longstockings would be allowed nowadays.



Names – it really is tough. Let’s take all issues involved when thinking of a potential name.

1. Does it go with the surname?

So we are definitely not doing the whole double barrelled surname. Our children will have enough to deal with than trying to spell a 17 letter surname, but you still have to make sure it works with the surname.

For example, one of our political candidates here in Brisbane:

giphy (2)


2. Can it be turned into something rude?

The name Richard. ‘Nuff said.

3. How much will people judge you on your choice?

So we want to call one of the girls – Jazmyn. We don’t, but, I can imagine the look on most of our friends faces if we were to say this.


Long gone are the days when people politely smiled and said, “That’s nice.” If you don’t mind a bit of judgement that’s fine, but if you don’t want giggling behind your back – think twice!

4. What will the nickname be?

No matter how hard you try, any name can be shortened, lengthened or misshapen into a word that can cause a lot of grief.

One dear friend of ours currently refers to the twins as South West and North East, (don’t worry, it’s not really sticking.) It made me think about Kimye, what were you thinking? I mean North West, really? Did they not think what her nickname would be? What are you going to call her? North-o … Northy … North Westy. The poor kid will be challenged, yet navigationally perfect, for life.


 5. Can it be spelt easily?

One of my major name spelling issues has always been Michael, or is it Micheal? Either way, the name you chose I believe has to be easy to say over the phone. It has to be a name that even the doziest of administrators could not get wrong. So if you call your child Madeleine or Jacqueline – you will surely be faced with years of using such phrases as … “Yes, that’s a C for carrot, Q for Queen.”

I only have three letters in my name but even I have trouble. I have witnessed such butchery of my name including: Zowie, Zoey, Zooee, Zowy and my favourite so far..Zowee. Weeeeeeeeeeee……

Whilst we’ve been considering names there have been a few rules we have introduced, and they have been a constant during our deliberations. These must-bes include:

  • Must be a short name
  • Must be feminine, yet strong (no frilly names)
  • Must not sound like a hooker
  • Must not remind us of someone annoying we know

Even with these rules, we are still struggling, so please if you have any advice let us know ASAP (as let’s face it these babies could be born at any minute.)

Just as a note, we will not consider the following names:

Facebook – yes there is a child called Facebook
Hashtag – no d*#m way
Messiah – too many Monty Python references for this
Nutella – delicious, but no
Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii – wha?

Parents out there – why did you choose your child’s name?






10 thoughts on “4. What’s in a name?

  1. You make me laugh! I found ‘finding a name that doesnt remind you of a person that annoys you’ the hardest! Then when we finally picked a name, he popped out and we changed our mind ’cause we didnt think the name suited him!! My advice – dont put too much pressure on yourself. Have a shortlist and when they pop out try out a few … I wasnt named for 6 weeks and look at me!!! xx

  2. A poor guy at school was called Justin, quite normal you think and a fine name too. His surname was Case! uhhhhh what were they thinking……..

  3. Number 5 should apply to firstname and lastname.
    That’s A.N.T.H.E.A, not A.N.D.R.E.A.
    That’s capital M, small c, capital L … and so on!

    So eloquently written, Zoe – Mama Bear. I wish you and Susan all the best with your beautiful bundles of joy. xo

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