What do you call mum – when you have two mums?

One of the biggest questions we get asked – aside from ‘how’ – is, what are you two going to be called? It’s a fair question really when you think about it.

When you look into the history of the word mother, it apparently is derived from the Middle English – moder.

The definition of ‘mother’ is simple, a word used to describe the person who gave physical birth to you or who plays a nurturing/surrogate role. In modern day society, there are so many types of mothers – step mothers, surrogate mothers, adoptive mother – or even ‘othermother’.

There’s mother. There’s father. But what happens when you have two mothers?

If choosing a baby name wasn’t hard enough, we now have to traverse the canyon of confusion that is, what the hell are we going to be called?

If Susan is the actual one who goes through nine (well nine-ish) months of being fat, bloated and generally feeling like crap, does that give her the right to be mum? Or should I, as the one who was able to have an on call sober driver for six months, able to take the title? Is it a matter of – who did the hardest work?


We’ve had conversations with friends on this and it’s fun watching the same wave of confusion cross their face. What do you call…the other mother?

“How about mum and Zoe?”

Well no, it makes me sound like the odd one out. I’ve got a lot invested in these babies, I’m prepared to give up care free brunches, spontaneous trips to the movies and a few too many drinks on a Saturday night for these brats, I need more than a first name!

“How about mum and mummy?”

Good lord, won’t that confuse them, and us? I can see a truck load of she said, she said, mum, mummy, cross wires happened if we have names that are so similar.

“How about mum and mother?”

Do I look like an Victorian ma’am? I can just see the three of us down at the park on a lazy Saturday morning when one calls out “Mother – may I have a drink?”

I shudder at the thought of being called mother whilst other parents at the park think I’m an overbearing parent who wishes to be called MOTHER.


A couple of friends suggested ‘Mumma Z’ – nice try, but I just can’t picture myself being Mumma Z. I just feel I should be in the kitchen whipping up some corn bread and ribs for the family (not that that’s a bad thing really.)


Can you see the difficulty we are having?


One thought on “What do you call mum – when you have two mums?

  1. I do see the problem and have thought about it before this,but not come up with an answer because it has not been a current question. How do other couple in your position deal with it ?Whatever titles we come up with it isnt reallya problem because the girls will know exactly who you are !!!! One possible answer is names rather than titles . Let me think on it. Cant wait until next Sunday, almost here now. The basement suite looks absolutely fantastic,you hasve done a good job there. Look forward to sampling it. When you think what it was like when you first moved in !!!!!!! Loys and lots of love D XXX

    Date: Fri, 27 Mar 2015 05:33:05 +0000 To: bickill@hotmail.com

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